So today I looked at myself in the mirror and decided today was the day. I drank my morning cup of coffee, took my b12 shot (which hurt like a MOTHER), and pulled out my dusty 30 Day Shred DVD.
Now I started this about four years ago and really enjoyed the workouts, but I never finished the 30 days because I moved on to the treadmill and Zumba classes. I also have acquired the Beach Body10 minute trainer DVD set from my set a couple of years ago, so I may also mix it up a bit with those as well as I get bored with DVD's easily.
I took some "before" photos before starting the workout today and I was absolutely disgusted with myself. Every day when I look in the mirror, I know that I have gained a lot of weight, and I know I don't look great, but I always justified that with the right outfit I didn't look "that" bad. Overall, I really have maintained an hourglass shape, which is nice, but the pictures really showed how awful things have gotten.
I always promised myself that I would never get over 200 pounds. The first time I gained weight, I got up to 198.6 and almost cried. That day I started working out and instantly dropped 10 pounds in about a week. This time, I knew I was approaching 200 so I stayed away from the scale, too scared to look. I was terrified the number would start with a two. When I finally did weight myself, I was shocked to see not only 200, but an extra 12 on top of that.
I hated myself instantly. I got down and depressed for about 8 months before I finally realized that I am still a beautiful person no matter what the scale says or what size jeans I wear. After that, I was at a state of body acceptance, defying what everyone else said or thought, for about 2 or 3 months. That was until a couple of weeks ago when I realized that even though I do love myself at this size, I am not happy. I am not comfortable in my clothes, I get out of breath walking to class and my blood pressure is slowly starting to creep up.
I need to lose weight for me. Not because I think I am ugly, or fat, but because I know how much better I
feel when I'm 50 lbs lighter.
This is so hard for me to do, but I am going to list my measurements from today. I is really painful to type these numbers, but I know I need to do it to keep motivation.
So here goes...
Day 1:
Chest: 45
R. Arm: 12.5
L. Arm: 13
Waist: 39
Hips: 48.5
R. Thigh: 29.5
L. Thigh: 29
Weight: 210.2
So here goes nothing!